Depth Not Width Brand Blog

Why Not Me? Why Not You?

Here’s a question I’ve kept asking myself over and over again… one that has changed everything as I’ve answered it…

“Why not me?”

For years, I had unspoken aspirations. “I’d like to run my own successful business.” “I’d like to have a podcast.” “I want to write a book.” “I’d like to be a coach.”

Something was holding me back from turning “I’d like to” into “I am.”

Paradigms.

Weird word, right? Some people call paradigms their limiting beliefs. A simple definition of a paradigm is this… Our paradigms are simply the way we see the world based on our past experiences and how those experiences impact our future expectations. Those expectations become our reality, whether they’re right or wrong. 

What are some examples of paradigms we believe in our lives?

“I don’t have enough money.”

“I don’t have anything valuable to add.”

“Other people are smarter than me.”

“I don’t have enough time.”

“I’m not ready.” 

Again, we develop paradigms like these based on our past experiences, and those experiences impact our future expectations. When we allow beliefs like these to become our reality, they keep us from trying new things. Those paradigm examples above… I’ve lived my life believing all of them.

And, one by one, I’ve torn them down. 

I do have access to all the resources I need. I do have all the knowledge I need, and more, and tons of value to add. I do have all the time I need and more. I am ready. 

Tearing down my paradigms required me to name them and identify their origins. One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced involves my parents’ finances.

I watched my dad run his business for decades while I was growing up. Like so many small businesses, his retail bookstore struggled to make it. He lived in a constant state of trying to survive, which made it hard to thrive. My mom worked side jobs to make ends meet. We lived life constantly on edge. I realized we were stretched thin at a young age. To pay for the private middle school I attended, I had to sweep floors and empty trash in classrooms every day after class. Then, over the summer, I cleaned gum out of lockers. It was how we worked off my tuition payments. 

Experiencing this as a kid created an “I don’t have enough money” paradigm – and negatively impacted my beliefs and future expectations. I spent years thinking I couldn’t access the resources I needed to succeed. Even though the resources I needed were available the whole time, I didn’t see them. Because I didn’t believe they existed, I never looked for them.

They say perception is reality. They’re right. 

Changing your results requires changing your perceptions… changing your paradigms. When I started addressing my paradigms and changed what I believed about myself and the world around me, I changed what I believed was possible. 

Today, there are moments when I meet someone successful in their business or someone who has done something that I wish I could. Three years ago, if I asked myself, “Why not me?” I would have flooded my mind with all the reasons I could not, should not, and would never find myself in their shoes. 

Today, the conversation is different. When I ask myself, “Why not me?” my response is different. Because my paradigms have shifted, my belief in God and myself has shifted, and what I know is possible has shifted. I’m no longer stuck trying to convince myself why I can’t do things. Instead, my immediate response is all the reasons I can… and I should try. 

That’s my story. Addressing my paradigms has changed everything. So, here’s my question for you…

“Why not you?”

That thing you’ve been dreaming about for years… “Why not you?”

That new job you’ve wanted to pursue… “Why not you?”

That goal you’ve wanted to chase… “Why not you?”

I spent almost a decade hesitating before I started writing this blog. Then I asked myself, “Why not me?” and I decided to start acting on what I wanted in life. The one thing I know now that I wish I had known then is this… I wish I had started earlier. 

The Takeaway

Take some time to identify your paradigms and limiting beliefs. Write them down, challenge them, and quit accepting them as barriers between you and the things you want to do. Most of them are lies anyway. Replace them with new beliefs, new truths, and new thinking… because that’s where everything starts… in your mind. 

You thought your way to wherever you’re at right now… and you’ll think your way into your future. Every action and move you’re going to make starts with thought. Changing your paradigms starts in your head.

So, “Why not you?”

Ready for more?

Follow me here for more insights like this one. You’ll also get massive value out of the Grit Meets Growth podcast that I share with Chris Cathers. Find it here or on your favorite podcast platform!