It’s easy to walk into a room filled with strangers and fall into the trap of judging books by their covers. I’ve had it happen at networking events, and it happened to me a few weeks ago. It reminded me in a matter of moments of the consequences of making assumptions, especially in business.

Here was my reality check: Are my assumptions leading to missed opportunities?

I entered a meeting with a handful of people for an event hosted by one of our partner companies. Most of us didn’t know one another, and so immediately we began the networking small talk ritual. “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” Safe, predictable, and expected.

Then came the unexpected. As we settled in and the morning continued, everyone eventually had the opportunity to share a bit about who they were and what they did. I anticipated canned elevator pitches. Instead, people dove into what motivated them, charged their batteries, and gave them purpose. They shared bits and pieces of interesting previous job experiences, and the moments when they found the power to take the leap to go out on their own. The conversation quickly evolved, and we dug into each other’s challenges and quickly discovered places where we could collectively help one another. We asked questions, we listened, and we shared.

The room changed when we did this. We had invested time into getting to know one another.

Looking around the room, I had made assumptions about everyone in the seats around me. None of them were bad, but many were wrong. Frankly, they had likely done the same to me. It’s how we operate. We scan the room, look for people who look like us and try to find our tribe. It’s human nature I think, to find a place that feels safe. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s as far as we get.

If we had not taken the time to dig in as a group and really get to know each other, to listen to each other’s stories and where their motivations came from, we would have never been exposed to the spaces where we could collaborate, work together, and help one another. Far too many times we are more focused on telling people what we do, and assuming we know what they want, rather than engaging in conversation and listening. That’s the magic moment: When we drop our assumptions and just listen.

The Takeaway

Assumption kills opportunities. Quit assuming, start asking questions, and listen.