I am writing this from my daughter’s room at Children’s Hospital. This is the second time I’ve blogged from her hospital room. We were here eight months ago, in the exact same room, trying to wrestle with the exact same thing. Writing helps me get my emotions out and lowers my stress level… It also helps me keep things in perspective.
It’s Friday afternoon as I’m writing this. She’s been here since Wednesday. In all likelihood, she will go home sometime this weekend and begin getting back to her routine. She’ll soon be playing lacrosse again, fighting with her brother, and enjoying an uneventful teen life.
Keeping things in perspective is everything…
The last time we were here in October, I walked wearily out to the parking ramp late one night, going home to sleep while her mom stayed with her. In the elevator, I met another dad – I could see by his badge that he was here with a child as well.
“These days get so long,” I said, trying to come up with something to say in a quiet elevator. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Yep.” He nodded. “How long have you been here?”
“Seems like forever. We got here five days ago.”
His head dropped a bit. “We’ve been here for three months.”
I felt about two feet tall.
Keeping things in perspective is everything…
Today, we’re on floor six. Just above us, on floor seven, is a family we know who’s son is battling lymphoma. I’ve watched them fighting it through Facebook updates and a Caring Bridge page. They’ve been here for months, even more than the dad in the elevator.
Yesterday, a nurse came to our room with a beautiful balloon, a purple butterfly, just for my girl.
It was sent to us from the seventh floor.
I was blown away by the thought that someone else who is going through something so much more challenging than what we’re dealing with would bless us like that. It rattled my world a bit.
Keeping things in perspective is everything…
As a dad, all I want is to protect my kids from pain. Physical or emotional. All of it. I want to keep them in a safe bubble where nothing can hurt them. I’m reminded here again that I can’t do that. It sucks.
I’ve also been reminded over the past few days of the importance of keeping everything in perspective.
Yes, my daughter is hurting, and it’s hard to watch that. But here’s the flip side to that coin…
We are blessed.
In a few days, my daughter will go home to heal and will return to her relatively normal middle-school life. She will fight with her twin brother, and I will have to remind her to clean up her dishes and quit playing with her lacrosse stick in the house. She is strong at her core.
My daughter has strong families surrounding her. My wife (her stepmom) is supportive and strong. My daughter’s mom has been her rock, and her stepdad has stood by her side as well. Her twin brother loves her dearly, and is ready to have her home. Between our two families, we’re healthy, collaborative, and connected. I know is not the norm.
Our jobs allow us the opportunity to be here, beside our daughter, without feeling the pressure to get back to work. We can stay without feeling guilty. Not everyone can do that.
So yes, this has been challenging for our daughter, for me as a dad, and for our families. But, keeping everything in perspective, we can count our blessings and know it will all be ok soon.
The Takeaway
We’re all experiencing some kind of adversity in our lives. Sometimes that feels like a mountain, and sometimes it’s more of a rough road. In either case, perspective seems to be one of the keys to keeping those challenges from derailing us. That’s not to say we minimize what we’re going through – we simply need to keep it in perspective.
