In the moment, right now, how are you feeling?
If you’re like most of us, amidst all our highs and lows this week, there will be moments where we feel stuck and overwhelmed. I talk to people every day who are personally and professionally stressed out, battling, and frustrated. Some of us are spinning our wheels, and not where we want to be yet. We haven’t “arrived,” and we’re still grinding.
If those feelings were the only thing you focused on, it would be hard to get out of bed in the morning.
I get it. To be transparent, those words capture some of what I’ve been feeling this week. We’ve been trying to take a project across the finish line that we’ve been working toward for two years. Right now, in the moment, I want to fast forward to the end. I’m sick of waiting.
So how do you keep from letting those feelings you’re experiencing right now drag you down?
Let’s look at this through the lens of a summertime family road trip. Thinking back on one of my childhood family trips, we drove to South Dakota. Getting to the Black Hills, standing at the foot of Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse, and driving through Custer National Park with the bison created lifelong memories. Getting there was another story, crammed into a minivan with my two brothers, my parents, and my grandma. Like most roadtrips, the destination made it all worth it, but our journey there was an adventure with ups and downs that included hotel trials, sketchy rest stops, and even a tow truck.
That’s the challenge we all face. Sometimes, on the way to our destination, we find ourselves stuck in a bad motel or on the side of the road. So rather than putting all out focus on where we’re at in the moment, how can we shift that focus back to where we’re headed? Here are four areas we can focus on, looking beyond our challenges, that will help keep us moving forward.
1. Focus on where you’re going. Like every good road trip and family vacation, the trip begins long before you leave the driveway when you choose the destination. It’s the destination that makes the endless miles worth traveling. In the same way, rather than giving all your energy and attention to your challenges, shift your focus back to your goals and where you’re going. Reminding yourself of the destination, and the outcomes you are working toward is a great way to keep your struggles and stresses from owning your thoughts and hijacking your mindset. A practical application: Spend some time meditating on your goals and how it will feel when you achieve them in the future. Write those goals down, too. The simple exercise of putting pen to paper will help you make them more memorable and keep them front and center in your mind.
2. Focus on your plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish. Continuing to consider your goals, focus on making a plan for HOW you will achieve them. Using the road trip analogy, this is the time spent on Expedia or Google choosing how you’ll get there, the route you’ll take, and where you’ll visit and stay along the way. Just like the road trip, we need to approach our plan and how we’ll reach our goals in pieces. My personal experience has taught me that ninety days is the perfect amount of time to focus on. Anything longer than that can feel too abstract, and the more extended timeframe can make procrastination easier. Instead, define what you want to accomplish in the next ninety days, and build your plan around that. With that plan in mind, what steps do you need to take this week to move forward and begin creating results? Looking at this week, what do you need to do today to move you toward that ninety-day goal? I call this my 90/7/1 plan. A practical application: Create your own ninety-day goals, and looking to the coming week, schedule time on your calendar with yourself to work toward them. This will keep you from getting busy and losing an entire week’s worth of momentum.
3. Focus on your actions. So we know our destination, and we have a plan in place for how we’ll get there. Done, right? Not even close. Until you’re in the car, you start it, and you back out of the driveway, you’re not on your way. All the goal-setting and planning in the world (no matter how good it is) is worthless until you take action and go! The potential of the destination and the plan opens up when you start to do the work. A practical application: Do something! Look at your 90/7/1 plan, and what you’ve decided you need to do to move those forward, and then make the most of the time you’ve scheduled on your calendar. Protect that time vigorously and put some action behind your goals and plan.
4. In the ditch? Focus on getting a tow. Like any memorable family road trip, there will always be moments where we get stuck or end up in the ditch. It comes with the territory, and the only way to prevent this from happening is to just stay home. The same with our goals and aspirations. Getting to them will likely lead to some unexpected surprises and washed out bridges we didn’t anticipate. I’ve written about this in one of my past blogs, Once This Happens, I’ll Be Happy. Enjoying the journey means embracing ALL the ups and downs, and staying positive even in the low moments. So how do you get out of the ditch? Get a little humble and ask for some help! We all have people in our circle who are waiting on the sidelines to help, but only if we ask. A practical application: When you’re stuck, look around. Rather than being stubborn and relying on brute force to pull yourself out, drop your pride, and ask someone else for help. Don’t know anyone who can pull you out of the ditch? Ask your friends and family who they know. It’s a small world – someone knows someone!
Like any road trip, you can expect that you will encounter moments in life where challenges arise. You’ll have days where you feel overwhelmed and like your destination is getting further away rather than closer. The key, in those moments, is not to let the moments pull you back or stop you completely.
The Takeaway
Look back at the four keys above, figure out where you’re at along the way, and choose one area to focus on. Don’t let the obstacles and challenges hijack your mind – keep refocusing on your destination (and make sure to enjoy the journey along the way!)
